大而无当－巨人

大而无当－恐龙

大而无当－信天翁

大而无当－鲸鱼

Lonely Animals

All that is me ...

WAR AND PEACE by Leo Tolstoy, Book 13, Chapter XIV

The sun had set long since. Bright stars shone out here and there in the sky. A red glow as of a conflagration spread above the horizon from the rising full moon, and that vast red ball swayed strangely in the gray haze. It grew light. The evening was ending, but the night had not yet come. Pierre got up and left his new companions, crossing between the campfires to the other side of the road where he had been told the common soldier prisoners were stationed. He wanted to talk to them. On the road he was stopped by a French sentinel who ordered him back.

Pierre turned back, not to his companions by the campfire, but to an unharnessed cart where there was nobody. Tucking his legs under him and dropping his head he sat down on the cold ground by the wheel of the cart and remained motionless a long while sunk in thought. Suddenly he burst out into a fit of his broad, good-natured laughter, so loud that men from various sides turned with surprise to see what this strange and evidently solitary laughter could mean.

"Ha-ha-ha!" laughed Pierre. And he said aloud to himself: "The soldier did not let me pass. They took me and shut me up. They hold me captive. What, me? Me? My immortal soul? Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha!..." and he laughed till tears started to his eyes.

A man got up and came to see what this queer big fellow was laughing at all by himself. Pierre stopped laughing, got up, went farther away from the inquisitive man, and looked around him.

The huge, endless bivouac that had previously resounded with the crackling of campfires and the voices of many men had grown quiet; the red campfires were growing paler and dying down. High up in the light sky hung the full moon. Forests and fields beyond the camp, unseen before, were now visible in the distance. And farther still, beyond those forests and fields, the bright, oscillating, limitless distance lured one to itself. Pierre glanced up at the sky and the twinkling stars in its faraway depths. "And all that is me, all that is within me, and it is all I!" thought Pierre. "And they caught all that and put it into a shed boarded up with planks!" He smiled, and went and lay down to sleep beside his companions.

黑白－彩色

小时候纪录片看多了，上个世纪初给我的印象是不愉快的：战争，混乱，贫穷，无论中外，人都是黑白的，且颗粒粗糙，迈着僵硬急促的步伐，做着一些我们知道是最终失败了的事。那时候人类似乎还保留着许多野蛮之气：到处是骇人的杀戮，轻易的逃亡，让人幻觉真正的文明世界是二战以后才开始的……

后来看到一些苏联解体后俄罗斯拍的有关那个年代的电影，非常惊讶于里面色彩的鲜艳和光线的明亮－那和我的想像太不一样了。可是回头想来，那时候污染肯定没有现在严重，空气自然应该是更透明的，又有什么好奇怪的呢？我甚至可以理解那些俄罗斯导演试图表达的的对那个时代的复杂心情。

时间给人的印象不同于时间本身，它既有可能快，也有可能慢；既有可能连续，也有可能中断；既有可能令人愉快，也有可能让人绝望：我说文明世界始于二战以后，茨威格肯定不会同意……二战电影里，战争结束了，人人都在阳光下跳舞，那里面不也有种惆怅和凄凉的意味吗？

鲁宾逊不是人人都可以当的：离开你熟悉的时代和环境，你能重新建构你的意义吗？我不能，也不想试。

Birds and I

不速之客

邻居们

这张照片里有下面这四种，七只水鸟，你能找出几只呢？答案如下。

新邻居

窗外小池塘又多了个邻居。开始总见到它跟在那几只野鸭后面游，还以为是只小鸭子，后来发现不是：野鸭不会像它那样潜水，模样也不对。

一直想知道它到底是什么。今天没事，找来一个当地鸟类名单，按目录上名字一个个查，再对照照片，发现它是只grebe，grebe有好几种，有几种显然不是，我的最终猜测是Pied-billed Grebe （Podilymbus podiceps），不知道对不对。知道了英文名，想知道中文叫什么，结果发现它的中文名比拉丁文名还难认：鸊鷉。再查一个拼音网站才知道这俩个字该念作：PI4 TI1（辟梯）。鸊鷉原来就是“油鸭”，油鸭我在小说里听说过，一直以为是黑鸭子（coot）。


看看这些鸟名，你能认识几个？

鸟 鸠 鸡 鸢 鸣 鸤 鸥 鸦 鸧 鸨 鸩 鸪 鸫 鸬 鸭 鸮 鸯 鸰 鸱 鸲 鸳 鸴 鸵 鸶 鸷 鸸 鸹 鸺 鸻 鸼 鸽 鸾 鸿 鹀 鹁 鹂 鹃 鹄 鹅 鹆 鹇 鹈 鹉 鹊 鹋 鹌 鹍 鹎 鹏 鹐 鹑 鹒 鹓 鹔 鹕 鹖 鹗 鹘 鹙 鹚 鹛 鹜 鹝 鹞 鹟 鹠 鹡 鹢 鹣 鹤 鹥 鹦 鹧 鹨 鹩 鹪 鹫 鹬 鹭 鹮 鹯 鹰 鹱 鹲 鹳 鹴 鸤 鸧 鸮 鸰 鸴 鸻 鸼 鹀 鹍 鹐 鹒 鹓 鹔 鹖 鹙 鹝 鹟 鹠 鹡 鹢 鹥 鹮 鹯 鹲 鹴 鳥 鳦 鳧 鳨 鳩 鳪 鳫 鳬 鳭 鳮 鳯 鳰 鳱 鳲 鳳 鳴 鳵 鳶 鳷 鳸 鳹 鳺 鳻 鳼 鳽 鳾 鳿 鴀 鴁 鴂 鴃 鴄 鴅 鴆 鴇 鴈 鴉 鴊 鴋 鴌 鴍 鴎 鴏 鴐 鴑 鴒 鴓 鴔 鴕 鴖 鴗 鴘 鴙 鴚 鴛 鴜 鴝 鴞 鴟 鴠 鴡 鴢 鴣 鴤 鴥 鴦 鴧 鴨 鴩 鴪 鴫 鴬 鴭 鴮 鴯 鴰 鴱 鴲 鴳 鴴 鴵 鴶 鴷 鴸 鴹 鴺 鴻 鴼 鴽 鴾 鴿 鵀 鵁 鵂 鵃 鵄 鵅 鵆 鵇 鵈 鵉 鵊 鵋 鵌 鵍 鵎 鵏 鵐 鵑 鵒 鵓 鵔 鵕 鵖 鵗 鵘 鵙 鵚 鵛 鵜 鵝 鵞 鵟 鵠 鵡 鵢 鵣 鵤 鵥 鵦 鵧 鵨 鵩 鵪 鵫 鵬 鵭 鵮 鵯 鵰 鵱 鵲 鵳 鵴 鵵 鵶 鵷 鵸 鵹 鵺 鵻 鵼 鵽 鵾 鵿 鶀 鶁 鶂 鶃 鶄 鶅 鶆 鶇 鶈 鶉 鶊 鶋 鶌 鶍 鶎 鶏 鶐 鶑 鶒 鶓 鶔 鶕 鶖 鶗 鶘 鶙 鶚 鶛 鶜 鶝 鶞 鶟 鶠 鶡 鶢 鶣 鶤 鶥 鶦 鶧 鶨 鶩 鶪 鶫 鶬 鶭 鶮 鶯 鶰 鶱 鶲 鶳 鶴 鶵 鶶 鶷 鶸 鶹 鶺 鶻 鶼 鶽 鶾 鶿 鷀 鷁 鷂 鷃 鷄 鷅 鷆 鷇 鷈 鷉 鷊 鷋 鷌 鷍 鷎 鷏 鷐 鷑 鷒 鷓 鷔 鷕 鷖 鷗 鷘 鷙 鷚 鷛 鷜 鷝 鷞 鷟 鷠 鷡 鷢 鷣 鷤 鷥 鷦 鷧 鷨 鷩 鷪 鷫 鷬 鷭 鷮 鷯 鷰 鷱 鷲 鷳 鷴 鷵 鷶 鷷 鷸 鷹 鷺 鷻 鷼

Works

阳光下的越南

有时会去小西贡买越南三明治：法式面包夹牛肉或者猪耳朵，再加芫荽和辣椒，觉得比Subway更合中国人的口味，价钱又便宜。倒没有对那里的越南人有什么特别的印象，只觉得他（她）们眉目间和中国人有些不同，到底是什么不同也说不清楚，大致是眉骨有些突出吧，另外身材与中国北方人相比要细小些，说话声音细碎急促，不好听－这当然是偏见。

有一次好奇走进他们的商场，觉得很像中国的：嘈杂，拥挤，花巧，充满各种食物的味道。唱片店挂着他们男女歌星的照片，大都艳俗，正与其煽情的歌声相配。还看了看书店，架上有很多金庸的武侠小说（我不懂越南文，都是看插图和发音猜出来的）：印证了《笑傲江湖》后记里的说法。

不过我非常喜欢陈英雄的电影和里面的越南：潮湿，明亮，鲜艳，饱满，慵懒，到处都是水的声音和光影。无论男女，头发都是黑湿的，性格大致是纤弱敏感的；有的是路边的小吃摊和半露天的咖啡馆；没有希望的瘦的男孩，怀着让人怜爱的希望的姑娘，总在抽烟的心事重重的男人，笑着的洗碗煮饭的女人……

以后或许会有一个中国导演能把《受戒》拍成这样美？

Brokeback Mountain Ducks and Green Heron

A green heron (Butorides virescens) posing 八大山人-lly

Rehearsal

懒的时候只看得进看过的电影，今天重看了一遍《莫斯科不相信眼泪》（其实不到一遍，主要看的下集），注意到这几句话:

有点潦倒的Rachkov对曾经被他抛弃过的Katya说：

Yes, I've led a useless life, all right? I always pretended it was just a rehearsal that real life still lay ahead of me ...

记得托尔斯泰在《哥萨克》里也说过相似的话，不过书里的聂赫留朵夫还年轻。